ikhwan ceria's access search.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy new year 2010..

It is not about who is perfect and who is not.

Some people hate,
Some people love,
Some people are procrastinators,
Some people act now,
Some people love to point fingers,
Some people love to extand their hands,
Some people answer every question,
Some people have an answer to every question,
Some people hate to lose an argument,
Some people love to win hearts,
Some people want a change,
Some people want to be the change,
Some people are blind except to their own colour,
Some people are blind colour.

Friday, December 25, 2009

the clock will tick the hours.. 2010

Now, I'm a self-loathing(refers to an extreme dislike/ being angry at oneself.)
Since I was into this thing, I felt lost. I felt that I had lost a part of myself. I never knew it till I realized it after a few years. How silly I was and there’s no turning back now. Why!? Why!? Probably I shouldn’t ask that, I should make a move to try to change myself to be a better person but then, I seriously need help. I doubted there is anyone who can help me.
My problem is detrimental (capable of causing harm),atrocious (cruel ) and nefarious(evil). It can’t be easily swiped away just like that, it is not as frail as everybody thought. It is strong inside me, deeply planted into my soul and it’s running through my vein and my brain every single day every single moment. I am pathetic, I am stupid. Right now, I can’t even bare to look myself in the mirror, it is just so depressing on how I lose to this, on how I’m not being able to stand firm on what I should have done long ago. And I broke my oath and promise many times, thousands of them even millions till I lost count on how much time I had done it. This year is coming to the end and a new year is going to start. I want to have a new life, I don’t want to submerged into this anymore longer. I want to be free, free from the horrible mean of myself, of my soul. I will always have to do it myself even though I was hoping there’ll be someone who can help me but I was wrong. I always know I have to do this and that I have to do it alone. My life is not in a stable situation and I am destroying myself and my mind, and I am dead! I threw myself into the trouble! I could not rise, I drowned as this thing vividly decorated in my mind. My hope is like a distant star and I wish that I could reach it all night. I give my all to have just one more chance to be good in life, I risk myself to do something stupid and now I have to pay the ultimate price. In my heart there is a song, a hopeful song, it lullaby me every moment that I did it and I was too shallow to understand it. But now I am not going to be afraid, I am not going to be scared, although there are many thing and many of them that I should feared of. What had I done all those consequences that it gave me I should be afraid of but there is no point of suffering the past. I’m heading to the future but I don’t see the light. Life is like this as what I’ve been told, I may not see the light but if I kept moving and moving, I will discover the light at the end of my path. Seriously, I really hope that is true. But how much longer do I have to wait, I have to suffer and I have to bear all these things? I may seem strong but I just act like one, I am fragile and vulnerable. I need to be hold, and I need to be accompanied but that is not going to happen, I knew. I almost give up, many times. But deep down in my heart I knew I can do it, I knew I can struggle and strive against it and I knew that someday I’m going to win this battle.

Friday, December 18, 2009


The drama starts ...
I ve 2 went home coz I need 2 do smthing which very significant 4 me.. well, just move on .
On my way , dlm teksi..aku borak2 dgn uncle tu..die cite mcm2 psl his job life n psl ank2 die..
Kesian plk aku dgr uncle 2 cite.. tp nk wat cm ne kn.. he’s tough enough ..i salute u then uncle.!!.
Though,My heart starts 2 beat faster as I feel my red cool blood is running through my nerves.. fortunely, uncle tu ade qualification in whatsoever la..ok? tp die hasil dr English medium system school dulu r..
So die ckp, dulu klow spe2 yg dpt speaking 2 senang naik pangkat..
Tp skg.. bdk2 pn da leh speaking dgn sgt2 fluent. So demand job market increase drastically . urm, shifting 2 my story plk..uncle 2 prsn npe aku balik awl, pdhal org lain xcuty lg..
So die presumption yg aku ade hal yg plu disettel kn. hOhO.. ok Fine. Aku cite la serba sdikit..
Out of blue , uncle 2 plk yg sedih..huhu.
Now dh smpai penang . aku mkn la McD prosperity utk mghilngkn lapa..
Unexpexted bnd tjdi coz time boarding tu.. tbe2 gate 4 boarding ditukar ke gate lain. Pergh! Geram aku. F.A ( flight attendant) tu x check btl2 boarding pass kami.. dh nk naik plane dh ni..flight dr Penang ke JB. Klow x mmg aku take off 2 JB ar . nsb baek aku tnmpk boarding pass org lain xsma dgn boarding kami 3 org.. huh! Terus F. A tu bwk kami 3 org naik ats dgn kelam kabut. Sial btl!!..on bhalf of Air Asia they apologize 4 inconvenience of their F.A. ape lagi ade aunty 2 terus LAZER kt F.A tu. Aunty(Chinese) 2 org penang tp skg mnetap kat Australia..
Tp die nk transit kat KL dlu..mcm2 aunty laser..suem kuar wat d F.. la, B.. la.. sume2. Aku diam je..tenangkn aunty tuh.hehe
Aunty 2 ckp ..ur gd n smart boy! Wah. Tkjt aku..mybe sb aku dpt lyn die. Even die speaking agk laju mcm ERL express tp aku speaking jgk la dgn unty tu..byk die bg nsht kt aku..die ckp idup kt kampus x senang.byk dugaan..i quote die pyr ni kt aku “LIFe is like a cirle, do GOOD receive GOOD but evil BegETS evil ok?, Evry1 has their STYLE n what I need 2 admire most bout certain pple is their ability 2 stick 2 their own no matter wat others say bout it or stares u might get, ok SON!” hehe..
ats plane plk aunty 2 mntk F.A 2 tukar seat spy aku duduk dgn die. Nsb baek dpt.. Die ckp, his is mY son kt F.A 2..dlm aty ni mmg aku ank cina pn..huhuhu. tp xpe r. borak2 ats plane dgn aunty 2 cite psl Australia n wat not kn..
smpai KL die nk snap pic sme2 tp cmera aku wat hal.. pergh! Rugi kot.hoho.
While I was waiting at LccT . aku tsrmpak dgn kwn yg aku knl kt Klntan ..GIler!!!! dh jd pelatih F.A. air asia a girl .wah sexy gler giler die dgn speaking CAIR nk mmpus weh. Dh x nk ckp kelate dh dgn aku.. perhaps die malu tu die pn b’lah sb ade hal..
time flight ke KB.. aku jmp mamat cina 2 org yg jual Hp aku kt kdai KB.. borak2 ar. Aku ckp aku nk gi bakar kdai die.haha sb xnk bg aku Hp free! tu aku tny pesal time aku gi kdai diemsti die tgk2 aku, phati aku..OMG! bru aku dpt jwpn dr die..(biarlah rhsia) huhu.. then, upenye die tu dh hbs dgree tp sb muke die agk putih melepak so nmpk muda..giler btl..byk btl aku borak dgn aku no matter wat la.. kite ckp je dgn org.. at least xdela kite ni myombongkn diri… mat salleh ppuan yg duk tepi aku..mmg mcm dh x pkai seluar..nmpk everthing.. hairan aku xsjuk ke?fhm2 je lah ye.hehe
Moral of the story.. byk dpt borak dgn org. xkire la bngsa pe pn.. byk bnda kau leh blja dgn diorg even dlm time yg seciput tu..

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

how this could be??

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

a matter of choice

everyone has their personal style and wat i admire most about certain people is their ability 2 stick 2 their own, no matter wat others say about it or the stares they might get..
it a matter of choice.
as we've gtten d sign from yg MAha Berkuasa..
it shows that it is nt d time yet to start once again..
we do love so much.. since to that, we dnt wnt 2 hurt them as the time goes by there will be smthng unexpected comes around. through our experience , reading , observation & watsoever..
Is like a dead soul with no history..
why im sacrifying for almost everything i wanted..
it's so weird..i felt like crying.. i just feels uneasy..very tired..but i just finished it..i realized it all about my mistake. nothing roots from anybody avoid from doing the same thing.. i did 'berjumpa dgn Allah' .Alhamdullilah..i've found d answer.even it goin' to make me loss control..i hate being a loser.. i should stop hurting pple heart! bdw, i need 2 experience it 2 know whthr its rite or wrong i dealing with soul.
. someone told me that,we are human aftr all we should learn frm trial n error..

Sunday, December 13, 2009

keep surviving...

it all comes from God, only in God we trust.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

..kotak hati..

You inspired me from the very first day you joined ......which is bit weird because you have never been nice with me.though, we never know each other. Plus, I was always skeptical about posting my stories here,but I got rid of my shyness just because of you,although you know nothing about it neither do I have any intention to make you aware of this complex yet beautiful emotion of mine,well,no matter how weird I sound but I find you interesting to the extant that i become what i am today..i am just fine..well, the spiral emotion comes across in my mind.. i wanna post a new posting. Now I’m constantly looking at the world, and my surroundings. See the different angles, the different sides, the different light, and the different heights, from all venues and vantage points.
For me, time used to be a measurement of getting from one place to another. For most people, it’s about always being “on the move.” For me, now, time is spent much differently. I spend my time trying to take in my surroundings with a more sensitive consciousness, and attempting to look and see everything that I can at any given moment. Time is more than time passing me by, or a clock ticking from one hour to the next, time is a place and fact that I use to merge into my ability to see and look in advance. As the old saying goes, you never stop learning by interpreting to me that I shall learn more in regard of life cycle.

With my Sony Ericson C510 cyberShot camera in my hand, I’ve gained a new found appreciation of a smile, a gesture, a sunset, a building, a child, and the beach– and life itself more. I see things differently, more clearly. These were but only a few examples of my new found enjoyment of life, and life’s offerings since I’ve got camera..

Monday, November 23, 2009

as d time goes by..

... I'm so not used to it......
I wish you could ask about me but you didn't
Every time when there is a call or text from 016-********8, I thought it could be you, but yet I know it wasn't from you...
Perhaps, I should speak to you in the first place to avoid embarrassment or to let things cool down but yet I never take the step.
But, is either my fault too!
That's why I have been silent even when you insisted it was my fault!
I don't blame for creating this mess but I never known you will have such big reactions towards this same things.
What should I do so that we could be like as usual as how we used to be?
On the other hand, I know u have been caring for me as usual and scare that I will get upset about this, thus u calling me quite often this few days to make sure I'm ok.
Yes, I'm still fine, that's the only things I could reply to you.
Ah, how good if everything is within our control...
Sorry for inconvinence at dis mess moment. Everything just happened within a matter of time which i never ever expect everythin’ gonna happen at one time..

Sunday, November 22, 2009

beruang, singa DAn BAbi...

Beruang, Singa dan Babi bertemu di hutan...

Beruang kata: "sekali ja aku mengaum,
seluruh hutan menggigil."

Singa kata: "eleh, sekali ja aku mengaum semua belantara ketakutan."

Babi kata: "Wa La Weh....
sekali ja aku batuk,
satu dunia panik!"

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Solat dan Sains : Rahsia Solat Di Awal Waktu

Setiap peralihan waktu solat sebenarnya menunjukkan perubahan tenaga alam ini yang boleh diukur dan dicerap melalui perubahan warna alam. Fenomena perubahan warna alam adalah sesuatu yang tidak asing bagi mereka yang terlibat dalam bidang fotografi.

Sebagai contoh, pada waktu Subuh alam berada dalam spektrum warna biru muda yang bersamaan dengan frekuensi tiroid yang mempengaruhi sistem metabolisma tubuh. Jadi warna biru muda atau waktu Subuh mempunyai rahsia berkaitan dengan penawar/rezeki dan komunikasi. Mereka yang kerap tertinggal waktu Subuhnya ataupun terlewat secara berulang-ulang kali, lama kelamaan akan menghadapi masalah komunikasi dan rezeki. Ini kerana tenaga alam iaitu biru muda tidak dapat diserap oleh tiroid yang mesti berlaku dalam keadaan roh dan jasad bercantum (keserentakan ruang dan masa) - dalam erti kata lain jaga daripada tidur. Disini juga dapat kita cungkil akan rahsia diperintahkan solat diawal waktu. Bermulanya saja azan Subuh, tenaga alam pada waktu itu berada pada tahap optimum. Tenaga inilah yang akan diserap oleh tubuh melalui konsep resonan pada waktu rukuk dan sujud. Jadi mereka yang terlewat Subuhnya sebenar sudah mendapat tenaga yang tidak optimum lagi. Sebab tu
laaa..Allah Subha nahu wataala. seru "Assollah tuqaihiiruuu minan naum". solat itu lebih baik daripada tidur.

Warna alam seterusnya berubah ke warna hijau (isyraq & dhuha) dan kemudian warna kuning menandakan masuknya waktu Zohor. Spektrum warna pada waktu ini bersamaan dengan frekuensi perut dan hati yang berkaitan dengan sistem penghadaman. Warna kuning ini mempunyai rahsia yang berkaitan dengan keceriaan.. Jadi mereka yang selalu ketinggalan atau terlewat Zuhurnya berulang-ulang kali dalam hidupnya akan menghadapi masalah di perut dan hilang sifat cerianya. Orang yang tengah sakit perut ceria tak ?

Kemudian warna alam akan berubah kepada warna oren, iaitu masuknya waktu Asar di mana spektrum warna pada waktu ini bersamaan dengan frekuensi prostat, uterus, ovari dan testis yang merangkumi sistem reproduktif. Rahsia warna oren ialah kreativiti. Orang yang kerap tertinggal Asar akan hilang daya kreativitinya dan lebih malang lagi kalau di waktu Asar ni jasad dan roh seseorang ini terpisah (tidur la tu ...). Dan jangan lupa, tenaga pada waktu Asar ni amat diperlukan oleh organ-organ reproduktif kita

Menjelang waktu Maghrib, alam berubah ke warna merah dan di waktu ini kita kerap dinasihatkan oleh orang-orang tua agar tidak berada di luar rumah. Ini kerana spektrum warna pada waktu ini menghampiri frekuensi jin dan iblis (infra-red) dan ini bermakna jin dan iblis pada waktu ini amat bertenaga kerana mereka resonan dengan alam. Mereka yang sedang dalam perjalanan juga seelok-eloknya berhenti dahulu pada waktu ini (solat Maghrib dulu la ...) kerana banyak interferens (pembelauan) berlaku pada waktu ini yang boleh mengelirukan mata kita. Waktu inilah fenomena buta ayam terjadi. Rahsia waktu Maghrib atau warna merah ialah keyakinan, pada frekuensi otot, saraf dan tulang.
Apabila masuk waktu Isyak, alam berubah ke warna Indigo dan seterusnya memasuki fasa Kegelapan. Waktu Isyak ini menyimpan rahsia ketenteraman dan kedamaian di mana frekuensinya bersamaan dengan sistem kawalan otak. Mereka yang kerap ketinggalan Isyaknya akan selalu berada dalam kegelisahan. Alam sekarang berada dalam Kegelapan dan sebetulnya, inilah waktu tidur dalam Islam.. Tidur pada waktu ini dipanggil tidur delta dimana keseluruhan sistem tubuh berada dalam kerehatan. Selepas tengah malam, alam mula bersinar kembali dengan warna putih, merah jambu dan seterusnya ungu di mana ianya bersamaan dengan frekuensi kelenjar pineal, pituitari, talamus dan hipotalamus. Tubuh sepatutnya bangkit kembali pada waktu ini dan dalam Islam waktu ini dipanggil Qiamullail.

Begitulah secara ringkas perkaitan waktu solat dengan warna alam. Manusia kini sememangnya telah sedar akan kepentingan tenaga alam ini dan inilah faktor adanya bermacam-macam kaedah meditasi yang dicipta seperti taichi, qi-gong dan sebagainya. Semuanya dicipta untuk menyerap tenaga-tenaga alam ke sistem tubuh. Kita sebagai umat Islam sepatutnya bersyukur kerana telah di'kurniakan' syariat solat oleh Allah s.w.t tanpa perlu kita memikirkan bagaimana hendak menyerap tenaga alam ini. Hakikat ini seharusnya menginsafkan kita bahawa Allah s.w.t mewajibkan solat ke atas hambanya atas sifat pengasih dan penyayang-Nya sebagai pencipta kerana Dia tahu hamba-Nya ini amat-amat memerlukannya.

Adalah amat malang sekali bagi kumpulan manusia yang amat cuai dalam menjaga solatnya tapi amat berdisiplin dalam menghadiri kelas taichinya ..."

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

jefferson show@ Queensbay Mall

Monday, November 2, 2009

no unity in msia??

I beg to differ. I believe that there is unity in Malaysia but because unity can't be defined within strict parameters, we often can't "see" unity. What is unity? Standing together with one voice over certain issues can be defined as unity. But I think helping out each other in times of trouble is also a form of unity. It is the essence that matters, not the outward appearance. Just because "high level people" (politicians?) keep harping on race and religion, it doesn't mean that the people are not united. We must remember that most politicians use and manipulate sensitive issues to attract attention to themselves. I don't think that stating race and religion causes disunity. People from different races and religions can still be united. But when the difference of race and religion is used to put down one another or to cause favoritism and bias, then unity is broken.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Sultan Of Brunei (King Of Luxury)

3 children are born every second in this world;
10 mobile phones sold on the international level;
auto manufacturers produce a car every 4.5 seconds on average;
and on the level of the human mind = brain cells send 200 directives each second
to perform the various functions of physical and mental health.
The world spends 37 million euros for arms on the international level in one second
And the Sultan of Brunei's wealth increases by 90 euros every second!
No envy please!
This means around 5400 euros per minute, 324000 euros each hour, 7776000 euros a day
Implies about 54432000 euros a week (that's 54 million and 432000 thousand euros)
Brunei's Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah ... President of the richest country in the world
Popular, lavish, ... uses gold in everything
Was born literally eating with spoons made of gold
Clothes worn embroidered with gold and silver

One of the cars of theSultan of Brunei

At the special request of the Sultan of Brunei,
theRolls Royce company
combined their car designs with that of Porsche.
This vehicle is currently in London
for use during his stay in Britain

Wikipediasays he has
531 Mercedes-Benzes
367 Ferraris
362 Bentleys
185 BMWs
177 Jaguars
160 Porsches
130 Rolls-Royces
And 20 Lamborghinis

Bringing the total number of his cars to 1,932

Sunday, October 18, 2009

day by day..

.... A wisp of silver strayed diaphanous beneath the moon,suspended in d inky of night.. HE felt himself spinning down, down, down, in a vortex of despair. Was there to be no love 4 him in this cruel world, just bcoz he's useless ????? hurmm..

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

a lie??kind of hurts..

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind, and those that mind, don't matter."

In this world of vanity, people tend to forget that having real friends is a very very important thing.
You may find going out and shining in limelight extremely cool and it feeds your ego better than anything. But when one by one, the people who loved you for your soul, disappear, you can cry tears that are saltier than any sea. And believe me, when you show no love and only expect it to come to you, then they will disappear.

Some people just use you. They call and say "I'm sooooooooooooooooo bored, let's go out and do something.
And then there are people who call to say: "I'm having sooooooooooo much fun, come and join me!"

Unfortunately, there aren't many people who act like that.
U difficult to find people who really care for you. They can say they care. They can even mean it. But they don't act like it.
And in the end, what they said or meant, becomes a lie.
A lie that kind of hurts. Kind of makes you angry. But most of all, makes you feel used.
Makes you feel like you are...
You may feel like there was a lot of drama around who cares about who.

Still, I have faith in good friendships. I can say, I really have great great great friends. They don't fuck me. They don't shit me. They are normal, good people. Awesome, humble, exciting, funny, smart, wonderful friends.

And I never want to lose the hope, that my friendships means as much to them as it means to me.

And if my soul is nothing to you, then by all means - don't ever bother to give me reasons to care for you. And don't ask for it either.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

lagu 'kantoi' ..

Semalam I call you, you tak answer
You kata you keluar - 'Pergi bank yea'
You kata you keluar dengan kawan you
But when I call Tommy, he said it wasn't you
So I drove my car pergi Damansara
Tommy kata maybe you tengok bola
Tapi bila I sampai you - you tak ada
Lagilah I jadi gila

So I call and call sampai you answer
You kata 'Sorry sayang, tadi tak dengar'
'My phone was on silent - I was at the gym'
Tapi latar belakang suara perempuan lain
[ Zee Avi Lyrics are found on ]

Sudahlah sayang I don't believe you
For since long that your words were never true
Why am I with u - I pun tak tahu
No wonderlah my friends pun tak suka you

So I guess that's the end of our story
Akhir kata, she accepted his apology
Tapi last last kita dapat tahu she was cheating too
With her ex-boyfriend's best friend - Tommy


happy belated birthday 2 Datin ...

sempat lagi ni curi2 shoot kat CS.. comel x???

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

penang airport dow! ha3

Teringat plk pglaman aku gdoh dgn cina bodoh tu kat ats flight time aku depart from penang airport to KL time nk balik cuti..

nk di jdi kan cerita org yg aku gado tu time aku nek flight from alor star ari tu aku tjmpa plk dgn cina 2 tpi die nek firefly.

Aku tgh check-in utk air asia da nk depart ni. Last minute da,.
Tibe2 aku tlanggar cina tu.. haha,. Die staring kat aku mcm nk mkn aku..

Hah3 lawak jgk. Time 2 terus aku teringat ayat2 die ats flight yg die kutuk pak cik tua tu sb x switch off handphone time da smpai airport kL ni..
Ape die ingt aku cina jgk kot.. best2 je die kutuk pak cik tu..kesian pak cik

tu..die da tua.
Mybe da lupe agaknyer
Yg die 2 tgh berasmara dana tepi aku dr depart kat penang lagi..naik geli tengkak

So. Lupekan lah cite kat airport penang tu.
Skg aku tgh tfikir cina tu..time jmp kali ke-2 kat airport alor star..aku bt blagak2 la,

Ape die ingt malay ni bodoh ke… haha.. smpai kat KL duk2 kat airport aku gado dgn ank org putih
Aku berebut kerusi..haha. nsb bapak die yg tgn besar tu x sepak aku kalau x da mati aku kat situ..

Kata dak law an?so aku tipu2 ar dak tu.pdhal aku nk duduk kat sit tu..
At last, aku dpt jgk duduk..haha
Amik risiko gado dgn ank org putih. Agak nyer sekali bapak die sepak aku mmg terus masuk ward kn..

Tp ade lg cite best aku kena provoke dgn security gak kat airport penang sakit aty aku., tau la aku slh masok.
Die gelak2 mmg giler aku rs aku da kuar kn statement yg x ptut kat security guard tu.. sori la “pak cik” (guard)
Even pak cik x tau yg sy da mnyesal tengking pak cik tp sori la.. sy da malu time pak cik gelak2 tu da la seluar aku terlondeh & tcabut kasut lg
So.. pak cik mybabkn sy btindak kasar..Sori ‘security guar’ next time x bt lgi..suke nek flight kat penang airport compared to alor star airport.hehe

`` `````````````` ```````````````````````````

so much i need to say...

SO much i need to say.
anyhow , the most favorite thing in my world now: sleep. so i would glue my self on my bed..

Thursday, September 17, 2009

dimanakah yg itu??..

Patience is one of the best medicines in life. Kdg2 terlalu bsbr dgn mslh yg kite hdpi leh mbutakan mata hati kite utk mmaafkn kmbali. Kdg2 kite selalu berkorbn utk org2 disekililing kite tnp mreka sedari. Tpi kdg2 bgus jgk sbb kite dpt menilai sjauh mane interaction antr kite dgn org2 sekilling kite. Ksbrn sukar dicari dlm hdp yg pnuh dgn up & down ni. X sume org perfect. Kdg2 org yg kite sayangi for example our sibling pn leh bt kite tcbr dgn kelakuan mreka,ape tah lg dgn manusia sjagat..
Kdg2 kite bsbr utk kbaikan kite sume bsma drp tjdi pkra2 yg di luar jgkaan. Mgkin org mgatakan aku seorg yg tlalu baik. Or good listener or aku pnh tdgr org bckp ‘pak turut’ mgkin aku tsilap dgr tapi ape yg ku hdpi ialah ape yg aku hdpi. Haha. Hidup tnp cbrn adalah useless. Tnp cbrn kite xdpt mgetahui hikmah ape yg akn tjdi..
Diri ku sentiasa mghrp kn pe yg tjdi akn ade hikmh dsebaliknye. Mgkin insan yg sentiasa bsbr n tawakal akn sentiasa dpt mgetahui hikmh sbalik sume yg tjdi. Tpi kte sume manusia yg kdg2 agak lalai dlm mjalani khidupn yg agk competitive skg.
Life expectancy kite mgkin cpt or mgkin lambat tiada siapa yg tahu..
Persoalan yg aku sgt menyesali skg adelah.sempat kah aku bertemu dgn malam lailatul Qodar. Aku berazam utk bertemu dgn mlm lailatul qodar tp mgkin mlm tsebut tlh blalu mgkin ckp2 org2 tua pd tahun ni. Sempatkah aku bertemu nyer lailatul qodar tahun hdpn?sempatkn aku mgejar cita2 ku?smpatkah aku mbhagiakn family ku?smpatkah aku mbina keluarga aku sndri bsama ank2 ku?mgkin Alfred tau jwpnnyer nape aku ckp cmni.haha Alfred ko jgn nk kacau doctor2 kat ... KL tu nti aku tarik ko pergi bilik mayat ok?haa. Dr. Azlan is the best!ko jgn mgarut mcm2 kat die.kalau x siap la ko!.hahaha mmg kite bkongsi doctor yg kalau ko ngada2 tau lah ko yer?!hahah
Jwpn nyer mgkin pnuh dgn misteri hanya ALLAH S. W.T je yg tahu..’
Off now.

Monday, September 14, 2009

emo?? stop it!!

In some corner of my heart I'm so sick and tired of being used and buttered-up for selfish intentions that I want to lock myself away from their society forever . Hurm, what is so-called friendship and friend? What are d differences between these two? Friendship is some kind of attached relationship that we really closed & have mutual liking of interest to one another. Otherwise, friend is an ordinary relationship that merely on particular reason. Ok! how do we feel when some1 that we totally put trust on them & give us full of vain hope with such ridiculous things .hUrm, it been a worth while ur in gd mood but such a loser when being used 4 particular matters. The likelihood to deception is higher compared to honesty, perhaps. Well, human is human, devil is devil, bullshit is bullshit & asshole is asshole. A friend dat we r hoping 2 be last longer has changed drastically due to wealth & found someone who make one’s on top of world w/o hesitating others feeling.

Once it hurts, there will be history created in our corner of heart, so long we try to abolish that sort of feeling but it never end 4 ever. Out of blue , that fella emerge desperately looking 4 some1 coz of frustration or else. Perhaps, that fella r craving 4 sympathy, either. As that fella solely a child with no sibling is blaming on their parents that do not take into account for that fella coz of hectic schedule. So ,try 2 commit something that really offend morality as a muslim even though all ur cousin are non-muslim. Ok. I would accept that mybe u r d only one who practice islam but the way u act likely to show that u r nOT!. Fucking that heart holes.! I wish d devil would drag u into hell. Stop pretending ur doing part time modeling lah. Useless la. I recommended that fella 2 one of modeling agency in KL through my friend haha tapi skrg that fella dat blagak cm die sorg je PERFECT !.haha. Moving to Amsterdam bgs la dr idup kat Msia ni. Burden org je .haha 4 this time I won’t help u out from ur miserable life beb!.haha. u deserve starting on d day u went away.haha
Moral of d story. PLz do not be humble on earth & no self-pity .be a selfish to some extent not to hurt others feeling through matured deed, behavior & age doesn’t indicate how mature u r ok? Behave in proper behavior ¬ 2 hurt others feeling too coz one day person that look cool might burst out & taking action beyond what we think of.
Whatever it is there must be lie in the beauty .watch out in looking friend from walks of life. There is jungle out there that we couldn’t see d true color of them.

Monday, September 7, 2009

life has it ups and downs...

this's d part im having less, there will be part i have more.. insyallah

this's d part im having less, there will be part i have more.. insyallah

Saturday, September 5, 2009

bile ku termenung..

Thursday, September 3, 2009

PL2C class gathering.

bukak pose same2 kat HOtmas restoran bhampiran Swiss Inn Hotel @ sUngai Petani..

Monday, August 31, 2009

CURRENT !! if i were to change......... might change later

If i were to change, there will be no more delight in becoming my friend. I’ll go in reverse of what i did b4. I realized that i do mistake repeatedly to u guys. Sometimes i would never know what was my mistake at all. Everyone is just like blaming me on something that bring a big impact on their life. I tired of dealing with emotional that lead me to depression,either.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

National Day ??hurmm

“There were certain things that I wanted to change by the end of August. I don't remember those things actually but I'm in a bit of hurry to achieve those things.” This was from my previous post..huhu.but on my way to achieve smthing. ni ade bnd cross out in my mind..

Why do I hate myself?

Do you catch yourself thinking, "I hate myself"? We hate ourselves for various reasons. Sometimes it is because we say the wrong things at the wrong time. Sometimes we hate ourselves for not living up to our own or another's expectations. The fact is that sooner or later most of us in our lifetime are going to utter the word's "I hate myself." The words "I hate myself" by themselves hold no power over us, but the problem starts when you begin to believe the words. Let's look at some of the reasons why you may come to hate yourself and how to deal with the problems.

  • Rejection - We all must face rejection in our lives. Rejection from members of the opposite sex, rejection over a promotion at work, rejection at a life that does not measure up to the big plans we once had. Rejection will come, but we must not let it consume us. I have learned in the past that when rejection comes, it is not the end of the world. Sure, there are times I am depressed for a little while and there is a lot of self-examination, but over time I learned that rejection is not the end, but the beginning of something else.
  • Love and Acceptance - It is human nature to want to feel the love and acceptance of others, but when it doesn't happen in our timetable, we often turn to ourselves as the source of our failure. When someone does not accept or show love to you, don't hate yourself for it. Rather, take time to consider the situation surrounding why you were not accepted or loved. In the end, you will realize (like I did) that not everyone is going to accept you and love you. If you stay true to who you are, sooner or later you will find the love and acceptance you are looking for.
  • I Make Mistakes - We all make mistakes. I know, I make my share of mistakes everyday. I have found that people are more prone to point out your mistakes than they are to praise you for what you are doing right. If you are not careful, you may start to think that your life is a mistake, which can lead to feelings of hatred towards yourself and others.

    I know my strengths and weakness and I am going to make more mistakes, but I can't let the mistakes get to me. I know it sounds simple and it will take work, but when you make a mistake, learn from it and move on.

Why do I hate myself? - There could be any number of reasons. The reasons I listed above are ones I have personally dealt with in the past. There were times I hated who I was and wanted to change myself so I could be like everyone else.

Then one day I realized that I am not like everyone else. I am me, so I set out to be me and I soon found that I no longer hated myself. I did not take the things that happened to me so personally anymore.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

- the day u went awayyyyyy --

p/s : i fall in love with this song. plus, a person who ........ this song..hehe


Well I wonder could it be
When I was dreaming
about you baby
You were dreaming of me
Call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time

Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do, you know I really really do

Well hey
So much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there
’s only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away

I remember date and time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine
In the doorway with your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces

And we were letting go of something special
Something we
ll never have again
I know, I guess I really really know

The day you went away
The day you went away

Why do we never know what we
have got till its gone
How could I carry on
The day you went away
Cause I have been missing you so much I have to say
Been crying since the day
The day you went away

The day you went away
The day you went away

...when the bond is attached, keep it as long as u love them so much....

thanks for the song ,nyway..

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

sometimes things is better to be left unsaid...

i've been pretty busy lately..

I find that I tend to blog when things feel like they're going downhill in my life.. However, when the downward spiral begins, it feels infinite and awful and I forget all the wonderfulness that has lead up to that moment. By tomorrow, the spiral will most likely go in reverse, but at this moment, it is endless.I am finding that my happiness definitely seems to stem from adoration of others, which is tricky, as people's adoration of me certainly..

self-pityThere were certain things that I wanted to change by the end of August. I don't remember those things actually but I'm in a bit of hurry to achieve those things. So I'm in this mode of completely sterilizing my mind of all things not-nice which get in the way me as a person.

I have this thing of having pity for myself, self-pity. I wonder if everyone has it or not. But anyway, so many
times I act like I'm the only one with all the problems in life. Look extremely exhausted and sad so many times as if I'm going through what not! Ev
eryone is distressed at some point of time but still what is the point in being sad about it all the time.

I mean, when you can count the number of problems you have on your hand with 10 fingers, then why do we spend 24 hours everyday thinking about it? Human nature. I so hate being a human. whatever it is life must be go on....

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Quake&Tsunami Predicted on July 2009

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Blood Clots/Stroke ....

Blood Clots/Stroke - They Now Have a Fourth Indicator, the Tongue

STROKE:Remember the 1st Three Letters....S.T.R..

"During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) .she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Arissa went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening Arissa's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00 pm Arissa passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Arissa would be with us today. Some don't die. they end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.It only takes a minute to read this...A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
S *Ask the individual to SMILE.
T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)
R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediately New Sign of a Stroke--------
Stick out Your Tongue
NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue.. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other, that is also an indication of a stroke.

Monday, July 20, 2009

nk jalan2..

well, this's final week b4 mid-term break..
x sabar nk balik..yahuuuu...
nk jmpa kwn2 lamaa..
nk mkn2 byk2..
nk tgk tv puas2..
ym puas2..
main puas2..
kwn2 balik mlm khamis ari rabu..huhu..
bestnyer!! even 1 week cuti pn..xpela..
at least dpt mkn angin kat umh..hehehe..
ape2 pn ..test 1 LAw coming soon esok selasa..huhu3..
stdy2..good luck to all preLawrians..esp part 2 je ok..hehe..

Saturday, July 4, 2009

a balance of nature....perhaps..

"hey,remember ya!.Nature has its unique way
to show balance.
Where u're having less,there will be part where u have more..

"Life is not a thing that can be measured or weighed. But we often try to evaluate it in terms of success and failure. It is the basic human nature that we try to estimate our profit and loss in each and everything we do. We often try to divide life into two watertight compartments of success and failure. But that is not to be.
Life is not presented to us in definite shades of black and white,
rather we have varying shades of grey.

kura2 ni comel x?hepi je tgk kura2 ni
Although we can separately define success and failure, yet we cannot draw a line between the two. They are often overlapping or at times one may replace the other. Sometimes we lose even if we have won. At other times, even being a loser we might turn to be a winner in the end.
On some occasions it happens that when we win, there's a sense of guilt lurking in some corner of our heart, which keeps our success incomplete - we means we fail
inspite of the success. Sometimes we fail to keep our relationships intact - at that particular moment we succeeded as a businessman but failed badly in being a human being. Basically success and failure co-exist.let see the point of view of the sportspersons we can say that - no matter how successful a person might be in any sport, if he doesn't retire at the right time, when he is at the peak, very soon the journey downhill begins - this might turn his success into a failure (failure in terms of his decreasing popularity, people might remember him for his failures in the last matches).

it's a balance of nature..,
life has it ups and downs..

Lawa x?hehe..act, org tu x bg nk amik gmbr mata, i've decided 2 take another pic.
" This is only another aspect of success and failure. "

Ape2 aje lah aku ni..hurm...

Thursday, July 2, 2009

i love sky....

the story of us, it always starts the same...
.... i love my self..
i intended not to hurt other parties..
..... I sayang die.... i care about die... including my friend

jgn nages2 tau...!! if u r in need,just let us know ok?

beautiful eyes come ........ wat?? hurmm,, rahsia..hehe

Hungry! hungry! ...tapi.... Malam..huhu

Sky ?? yea2! u r watchin' me??
my baby????? comel nyer..haha

see then..
till bye

love my family
love my self.. love my A........
love my Friend
love eveybody..

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

well,it just a crap..that's all..

Love, peace & unity..

Take a look into Islamic aspect ya..

let mingle and enjoy the sweet of friendship and harmony ..

Life is short rather than life in hereafter.

Use our time wisely..

no lifetime..


i found world with greatest 'Copycats' .this means we tend 2 shout back to a person that screaming 2wrds us..Just like a cat. .when they were in scratched to each other, they seem 2 turn up d voice..

I’d like 2 stress here , rather than feeling guilty, turn it into a

learning opportunity, if u are fault, apologies and show how u

admit your mistake.

amelia said ;"our biggest regret is not for d'thing we did but

its for d'thing we didn't."

Life is like wheel, sometimes you’re on the top

and the next day you might the one at the bottom.

Human is imperfect and sometimes unlucky :roll:

It’s a fact that we can’t deny.

But all of us want fortunate times, I guess

Sad. And alone.

Can you feel that?

Maybe yes. If you read through to know what I mean.

I always mention that I always feel lonely although I’m in a huge crowd. Some friends ask me - “How is that possible?“. I think the image above could visualize that. In a crowd, but feel sad & lonely.

But it’s just a natural feeling, I guess. Yeah, I love friends but it’s different when we talk about trust.

That’s my perception. Of course, we’re not perfect.

And I feel a bit relieved to know there are some people like me, or even worst.

..........well, it just a crap.. that's all.......