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Monday, August 31, 2009

CURRENT !! if i were to change......... might change later

If i were to change, there will be no more delight in becoming my friend. I’ll go in reverse of what i did b4. I realized that i do mistake repeatedly to u guys. Sometimes i would never know what was my mistake at all. Everyone is just like blaming me on something that bring a big impact on their life. I tired of dealing with emotional that lead me to depression,either.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

National Day ??hurmm

“There were certain things that I wanted to change by the end of August. I don't remember those things actually but I'm in a bit of hurry to achieve those things.” This was from my previous post..huhu.but on my way to achieve smthing. ni ade bnd cross out in my mind..

Why do I hate myself?

Do you catch yourself thinking, "I hate myself"? We hate ourselves for various reasons. Sometimes it is because we say the wrong things at the wrong time. Sometimes we hate ourselves for not living up to our own or another's expectations. The fact is that sooner or later most of us in our lifetime are going to utter the word's "I hate myself." The words "I hate myself" by themselves hold no power over us, but the problem starts when you begin to believe the words. Let's look at some of the reasons why you may come to hate yourself and how to deal with the problems.

  • Rejection - We all must face rejection in our lives. Rejection from members of the opposite sex, rejection over a promotion at work, rejection at a life that does not measure up to the big plans we once had. Rejection will come, but we must not let it consume us. I have learned in the past that when rejection comes, it is not the end of the world. Sure, there are times I am depressed for a little while and there is a lot of self-examination, but over time I learned that rejection is not the end, but the beginning of something else.
  • Love and Acceptance - It is human nature to want to feel the love and acceptance of others, but when it doesn't happen in our timetable, we often turn to ourselves as the source of our failure. When someone does not accept or show love to you, don't hate yourself for it. Rather, take time to consider the situation surrounding why you were not accepted or loved. In the end, you will realize (like I did) that not everyone is going to accept you and love you. If you stay true to who you are, sooner or later you will find the love and acceptance you are looking for.
  • I Make Mistakes - We all make mistakes. I know, I make my share of mistakes everyday. I have found that people are more prone to point out your mistakes than they are to praise you for what you are doing right. If you are not careful, you may start to think that your life is a mistake, which can lead to feelings of hatred towards yourself and others.

    I know my strengths and weakness and I am going to make more mistakes, but I can't let the mistakes get to me. I know it sounds simple and it will take work, but when you make a mistake, learn from it and move on.

Why do I hate myself? - There could be any number of reasons. The reasons I listed above are ones I have personally dealt with in the past. There were times I hated who I was and wanted to change myself so I could be like everyone else.

Then one day I realized that I am not like everyone else. I am me, so I set out to be me and I soon found that I no longer hated myself. I did not take the things that happened to me so personally anymore.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

- the day u went awayyyyyy --

p/s : i fall in love with this song. plus, a person who ........ this song..hehe


Well I wonder could it be
When I was dreaming
about you baby
You were dreaming of me
Call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time

Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do, you know I really really do

Well hey
So much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there
’s only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away

I remember date and time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine
In the doorway with your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces

And we were letting go of something special
Something we
ll never have again
I know, I guess I really really know

The day you went away
The day you went away

Why do we never know what we
have got till its gone
How could I carry on
The day you went away
Cause I have been missing you so much I have to say
Been crying since the day
The day you went away

The day you went away
The day you went away

...when the bond is attached, keep it as long as u love them so much....

thanks for the song ,nyway..

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

sometimes things is better to be left unsaid...

i've been pretty busy lately..

I find that I tend to blog when things feel like they're going downhill in my life.. However, when the downward spiral begins, it feels infinite and awful and I forget all the wonderfulness that has lead up to that moment. By tomorrow, the spiral will most likely go in reverse, but at this moment, it is endless.I am finding that my happiness definitely seems to stem from adoration of others, which is tricky, as people's adoration of me certainly..

self-pityThere were certain things that I wanted to change by the end of August. I don't remember those things actually but I'm in a bit of hurry to achieve those things. So I'm in this mode of completely sterilizing my mind of all things not-nice which get in the way me as a person.

I have this thing of having pity for myself, self-pity. I wonder if everyone has it or not. But anyway, so many
times I act like I'm the only one with all the problems in life. Look extremely exhausted and sad so many times as if I'm going through what not! Ev
eryone is distressed at some point of time but still what is the point in being sad about it all the time.

I mean, when you can count the number of problems you have on your hand with 10 fingers, then why do we spend 24 hours everyday thinking about it? Human nature. I so hate being a human. whatever it is life must be go on....